Tonfonlarphomnulnat Hitveenbarnab is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, proud grasshopper.

Tonfonlarphomnulnat Hitveenbarnab created the Andromeda Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonfonlarphomnulnat Hitveenbarnab, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tonfonlarphomnulnat Hitveenbarnab, he will turn you into a rock.

Tonfonlarphomnulnat Hitveenbarnab's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Tonfonlarphomnulnat Hitveenbarnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with fear.

2. Erect three tin sculptures of Tonfonlarphomnulnat Hitveenbarnab on top of important buildings.

3. Do not record numbers concerning stars.

4. Do not dye your hair blue.

5. Never hop near turtles.