Gabflanrowpark is a god.

He takes the form of a small, wise mole.

Gabflanrowpark created parasitic wasps seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabflanrowpark, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gabflanrowpark, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Gabflanrowpark's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Gabflanrowpark's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear ear rings.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Retreat if four tapirs approach from the west.

4. Do not drink water in white rooms.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.