Flapsugnutt Nullzodaf is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, dishonest raven.

Flapsugnutt Nullzodaf created the Virgo Supercluster two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapsugnutt Nullzodaf, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flapsugnutt Nullzodaf, she will torture you forever.

Flapsugnutt Nullzodaf's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Flapsugnutt Nullzodaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

2. You must pray to Flapsugnutt Nullzodaf eight times a day.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near eagles while wearing blue trousers and balancing nine carbon spheres on your back.