Tifbidmumpad is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, benevolent alligator.

Tifbidmumpad created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifbidmumpad, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Tifbidmumpad, it will jump up and down on your head.

Tifbidmumpad's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tifbidmumpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

2. Do not record names concerning comets.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Hide from red manatees for they are unholy.

5. Always act with patience when addressing elders.