Cadweenat is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, pitiless guinea pig.

Cadweenat created a down quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadweenat, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cadweenat, he will turn you into a dog.

Cadweenat's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Cadweenat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about coconuts.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never gather six badgers near wells.

4. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

5. Never write about nebulae.