Dogquamarpomttitgedjattam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, slow deer.

Dogquamarpomttitgedjattam created time and space nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dogquamarpomttitgedjattam, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dogquamarpomttitgedjattam, it will not invite you to parties.

Dogquamarpomttitgedjattam's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Dogquamarpomttitgedjattam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Do not hurt turtles.

5. Always cleanse blood with water.