Haslarpquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, conceited scorpion.

Haslarpquaf created the Virgo Supercluster five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haslarpquaf, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Haslarpquaf, it will send you a sign.

Haslarpquaf's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Haslarpquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of names.

2. Do not keep three eagles in a large pit.

3. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

4. Feed all hungry turtles.

5. Always store bread above ground.