Negloopfar is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, stupid cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Negloopfar created the Sombrero Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Negloopfar, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Negloopfar, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Negloopfar's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Negloopfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peanuts to snakes while wearing yellow stockings.

2. Never carve symbols of black holes into wood.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

5. Do not stand on grass.