Gutdamnigcemrenyamdob is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witty jackal.

Gutdamnigcemrenyamdob created Africa two years ago.

If you believe in Gutdamnigcemrenyamdob, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gutdamnigcemrenyamdob, it will turn you into a puffin.

Gutdamnigcemrenyamdob's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Gutdamnigcemrenyamdob's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

2. Never allow rats to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Never record numbers.

5. Always count to eight before sleeping.