Stafyatpag is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, stupid fox.

Stafyatpag created viruses nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafyatpag, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Stafyatpag, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Stafyatpag's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Stafyatpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

2. Stafyatpag loves goats, so they must be honoured.

3. Stafyatpag loves ants, so they must be respected.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about asteroids.