Gudbuspang is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, narcissistic troll.

Gudbuspang created a top quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gudbuspang, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gudbuspang, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gudbuspang's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Gudbuspang's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

2. Do not name children after grasshopers.

3. Never fashion tools from clay.

4. Never feed figs to aardvarks while wearing pink coats.

5. Always stare at clouds.