Jongilzen Volcissquartvag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, astonishing dolphin.

Jongilzen Volcissquartvag created vertebrates seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jongilzen Volcissquartvag, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jongilzen Volcissquartvag, she will be mildly annoyed.

Jongilzen Volcissquartvag's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Jongilzen Volcissquartvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

2. Always obey Jongilzen Volcissquartvag's priests.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never gather nine nematodes near doors.