Laghudpansaw is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, narcissistic ferret.

Laghudpansaw created the planet Saturn five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Laghudpansaw, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Laghudpansaw, it will turn you into a dog.

Laghudpansaw's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Laghudpansaw's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Laghudpansaw.

2. Do not study evolution by means of natural selection on holy days.

3. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Laghudpansaw in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.