Bugmanboncen is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, tiresome troll.

Bugmanboncen created the solar system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugmanboncen, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bugmanboncen, she will not invite you to parties.

Bugmanboncen's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Bugmanboncen's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow nematodes to witness sacred rites.

2. Never talk about special relativity near tapirs while wearing turquoise coats.

3. Hide from black aardvarks for they are unholy.

4. Never mark doors with indigo.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.