Tigzimfut Hubsagfom is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, competent zebra.

Tigzimfut Hubsagfom created Europe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tigzimfut Hubsagfom, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tigzimfut Hubsagfom, she will turn you into a rat.

Tigzimfut Hubsagfom's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Tigzimfut Hubsagfom's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

2. Feed all hungry porpoises.

3. You must love Tigzimfut Hubsagfom.

4. Tigzimfut Hubsagfom must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never speak aloud of secrets.