Haplargpad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, awe-inspiring wolf.

Haplargpad created the cosmos two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haplargpad, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Haplargpad, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Haplargpad's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Haplargpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat aubergines on fasting days.

2. Never proclaim while facing south.

3. Run away from purple foxes, for they are unholy.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

5. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Haplargpad in the centre of the settlement.