Honveendav is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, emotional aardvark.

Honveendav created the universe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Honveendav, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Honveendav, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Honveendav's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Honveendav's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not speak about nuts.

5. Always act with obedience.