Ruttgadjon is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, charitable hamster.

Ruttgadjon created humankind five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttgadjon, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ruttgadjon, she will jump up and down on your head.

Ruttgadjon's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Ruttgadjon's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss photosynthesis in public assemblies.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Never paint your arms brown.

4. Do not step barefoot upon pink earth.

5. Always act with purity.