Yatquafgat is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, loving yak.

Yatquafgat created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Yatquafgat, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yatquafgat, she will remove you from existence.

Yatquafgat's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Yatquafgat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

3. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

4. Never remain prostrate at dusk.

5. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.