Sanquartgud is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, passionate capybara.

Sanquartgud created a photon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sanquartgud, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sanquartgud, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Sanquartgud's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Sanquartgud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing red boots and balancing eight lead spheres on your arms.

5. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.