Omintadkop is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, moody newt.

Omintadkop created Asia three billion years ago.

If you believe in Omintadkop, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Omintadkop, she will turn you into a duck.

Omintadkop's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Omintadkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of signs.

2. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

3. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Omintadkop in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always remove ear rings before touching silver.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.