Jamflapnib Veenduntofnut is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, self-assured mink.

Jamflapnib Veenduntofnut created a bottom quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jamflapnib Veenduntofnut, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jamflapnib Veenduntofnut, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Jamflapnib Veenduntofnut's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Jamflapnib Veenduntofnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Feed all hungry mice.

3. Do not record names concerning moons.

4. Jamflapnib Veenduntofnut loves otters, so they must be respected.

5. Never feed lots of corn to mites while wearing orange scarves.