Lattail is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, awe-inspiring tapir.

Lattail created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lattail, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lattail, he will turn you into a sheep.

Lattail's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Lattail's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. You must never eat gooseberries.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.