Mifmidquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, resourceful crab.

Mifmidquaf created life seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mifmidquaf, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mifmidquaf, he will refuse to believe in you.

Mifmidquaf's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Mifmidquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Mifmidquaf on top of all buildings.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near otters while wearing mauve shorts and balancing four nickel spheres on your feet.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.