Vidhinhapfet Gontanbus is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, almighty finch.

Vidhinhapfet Gontanbus created the Cigar Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vidhinhapfet Gontanbus, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vidhinhapfet Gontanbus, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Vidhinhapfet Gontanbus' most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Vidhinhapfet Gontanbus' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Hide if nine geese approach from the south.

3. Never sing in the presence of rats.

4. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

5. Vidhinhapfet Gontanbus must be the most important thing in your life.