Yamrutbastpaszakvollip is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witless spider.

Yamrutbastpaszakvollip created a strange quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamrutbastpaszakvollip, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yamrutbastpaszakvollip, it will turn you into a frog.

Yamrutbastpaszakvollip's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Yamrutbastpaszakvollip's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix corn with oil.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching nickel.

3. Yamrutbastpaszakvollip must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not eat spinach.