Ganquaglip is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, emotional slug.

Ganquaglip created parasitic wasps two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganquaglip, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ganquaglip, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Ganquaglip's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Ganquaglip's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

3. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not keep seven dolphins in a large pit.