Xucvangem is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, pitiless swallow.

Xucvangem created water twelve years ago.

If you believe in Xucvangem, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Xucvangem, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Xucvangem's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Xucvangem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Always remove shorts before entering holy places.

3. Xucvangem loves bats, so they must be honoured.

4. Never hurt manatees.

5. Always help squirrels in need.