Quartdossweg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, capable newt.

Quartdossweg created gold three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartdossweg, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quartdossweg, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Quartdossweg's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Quartdossweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never record numbers.

4. Do not resist fate.

5. Do not contemplate dark energy during the night.