Lapmegtarp is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, loving human.

Lapmegtarp created the Sun nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapmegtarp, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lapmegtarp, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Lapmegtarp's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Lapmegtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never discuss chlorophyll in public assemblies.

3. Put Lapmegtarp first in all things.

4. Do not wear carbon on your body.

5. Always stare at clouds.