Dibwiptal is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, grumpy alligator.

Dibwiptal created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibwiptal, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dibwiptal, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dibwiptal's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Dibwiptal's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

2. Never speak of balance in the presence of strangers.

3. Never paint your feet cyan.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Pray only in moonlight.