Fotvigcub is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, contented dolphin.

Fotvigcub created time and space eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotvigcub, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fotvigcub, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fotvigcub's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Fotvigcub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never pray while filled with anger.

4. Never feed coconuts to aardvarks while wearing shorts.

5. Do not resist chaos.