Ditvenfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a small, kind troll.

Ditvenfeb created the planet Earth six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditvenfeb, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ditvenfeb, she will throw large rocks at you.

Ditvenfeb's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Ditvenfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not leap in public.

2. Never talk about dark matter near frogs while wearing indigo coats.

3. Always cleanse blood with water.

4. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

5. Never feed parsnips to eagles while wearing purple scarves.