Bapsadnak is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, kind spider.

Bapsadnak created tapeworms eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapsadnak, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bapsadnak, she will turn you into a tree.

Bapsadnak's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Bapsadnak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not contemplate optics during the night.

3. Bapsadnak loves swans, so they must be respected.

4. Always help snakes.

5. Never adorn your neck with blue markings.