Hamxucarp is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, dishonest mole.

Hamxucarp created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hamxucarp, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hamxucarp, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Hamxucarp's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Hamxucarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare rice while wearing kilts.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not keep three foxes in a large pit.