Lunkanpomtomleg is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, moody deer.

Lunkanpomtomleg created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Lunkanpomtomleg, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lunkanpomtomleg, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Lunkanpomtomleg's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Lunkanpomtomleg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon magenta earth.

2. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

3. Always count to nine before sleeping.

4. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

5. Worship no other gods but Lunkanpomtomleg.