Larpmegfitlenlimminfob is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unsympathetic seal.

Larpmegfitlenlimminfob created snails eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpmegfitlenlimminfob, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Larpmegfitlenlimminfob, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Larpmegfitlenlimminfob's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Larpmegfitlenlimminfob's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Larpmegfitlenlimminfob's priests.

2. Remain standing during prayer.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always share apples with strangers, but never with otters.

5. Always help monkeys.