Quimtifjop is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, unselfish camel.

Quimtifjop created a down quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimtifjop, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quimtifjop, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quimtifjop's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Quimtifjop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silver on your body.

2. Never go into brown rooms.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never feed figs to bats while wearing rings.