Veenpoghun Bagdancep is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unthinking rat.

Veenpoghun Bagdancep created the world five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenpoghun Bagdancep, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Veenpoghun Bagdancep, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Veenpoghun Bagdancep's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Veenpoghun Bagdancep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate quantum gravity during the night.

2. Always obey Veenpoghun Bagdancep's priests.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think about dark energy.

5. Always wear purple.