Kadpomcandad is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, omnipotent fox.

Kadpomcandad created the world two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kadpomcandad, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kadpomcandad, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Kadpomcandad's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Kadpomcandad's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kadpomcandad.

2. Run away from brown foxes, for they are unholy.

3. Never feed garlic to voles while wearing fawn hats.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never touch oil while blessed.