Flamweg is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, intelligent chicken.

Flamweg created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamweg, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Flamweg, it will turn you into a hamster.

Flamweg's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Flamweg's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Flamweg three times a day.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force near dolphins while wearing violet ear rings and balancing nine platinum spheres on your face.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Respect your elders.