Yartxenzak is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, able mongoose.

Yartxenzak created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yartxenzak, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yartxenzak, it will turn you into a sheep.

Yartxenzak's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Yartxenzak's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never mention mites.

3. Put Yartxenzak first in all things.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Hide if nine otters approach from the north.