Bagcedham is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, charitable donkey.

Bagcedham created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagcedham, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bagcedham, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bagcedham's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Bagcedham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place pineapples upon stone.

2. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

3. Never feed aubergines to goats while wearing black jumpers.

4. Seals are not to be trusted.

5. Worship no other gods but Bagcedham.