Gunhamnart is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, caring seal.

Gunhamnart created the world eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gunhamnart, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gunhamnart, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gunhamnart's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Gunhamnart's Holy Commandments

1. Gunhamnart loves cats, so they must be honoured.

2. Never pray while filled with pride.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always act with obedience.