Sighakcepfem is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, cheerful raven.

Sighakcepfem created the Sun two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sighakcepfem, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sighakcepfem, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Sighakcepfem's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Sighakcepfem's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Fast once a month.