Kikfon is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, proud dog.

Kikfon created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikfon, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kikfon, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Kikfon's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Kikfon's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

2. Do not hurt swans.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Always treat doves with great respect.