Quillfatgeblamhasjigrull is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, uncaring coyote.

Quillfatgeblamhasjigrull created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Quillfatgeblamhasjigrull, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quillfatgeblamhasjigrull, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Quillfatgeblamhasjigrull's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Quillfatgeblamhasjigrull's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

3. Never eat pineapples.

4. Do not wear tights marked with fawn.

5. Do not cook food in pots.