Zogsakgom is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, overgenerous parrot.

Zogsakgom created the planet Earth nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zogsakgom, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zogsakgom, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Zogsakgom's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Zogsakgom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at doors at midnight.

2. Never think about optics.

3. Pray only in firelight.

4. Do not wear zinc on your body.

5. Never eat bark.