Kabnegjap is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, intelligent gorilla.

Kabnegjap created oxygen two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabnegjap, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kabnegjap, he will turn you into a mouse.

Kabnegjap's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Kabnegjap's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Kabnegjap eight times a day.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Kabnegjap on top of all buildings.

4. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.