Kanbastveen is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, moody narwhal.

Kanbastveen created parasitic wasps four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kanbastveen, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kanbastveen, he will be mildly annoyed.

Kanbastveen's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Kanbastveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after turtles.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never think about special relativity near frogs while wearing magenta shorts and balancing nine iron spheres on your hands.

4. Never curse while facing west.

5. Never go into orange rooms.